Saturday, July 30, 2016

Marley meets the kiddie pool

This week has been hot again.  Yesterday our outdoor thermometers both got to 100-101 when there was no direct sun on them.  Today, I looked mid afternoon and it's 95 in the shade.  So, it was time to break out the kiddie pool.  There was one in the tool shed, left from Lois' dog, Missy. 

I left Marley in the house for a few minutes, to go get the pool, bring it into the yard, unhook the sprinkler and start the water running into the pool.  Then I brought him out.  Since it was something he'd never seen before he was skeptical.  He circled it.  He drank from it.  He circled it.  He tried to bite the grasshopper floating just out of reach.  He circled it.  He put a foot on the rim, then pulled it back and circled some more. 

Every now & then he'd look at me for reassurance.  At one point he got both front feet wet.  Then he circled some more.  He looked like he was going to hop in, then circled again.  He really didn't trust this new thing.  I used a yardstick to flick the occasional wasp or yellow jacket out of the pool.

Finally, I picked up his front end & put both his feet all the way in.  He didn't much like it, but he didn't move away from the pool.  So, I put all of him in the pool.  At that point he decided the lawn was more interesting.  Every once in a while I'd splash the water with the yardstick.  All that did was get him interested in the yardstick as a stick. 

Next time we'll take his little (used to be almost 2 feet long) stick and toss it in the water and see what happens.

He also got his first peanut butter jar today.  I finished the little bit that was in the bottom of the jar and put it on the floor.  He got a bit nervous.  He barked at it, and barked at it until I put it on its side.  He must have thought I killed it because he moved in and cleaned the top inch or two.  He carried it into several rooms while he was working it over.  Maybe when he's all grown up, he can clean our peanut butter jars for recycling.  (Our first dog loved peanut butter and could reach to the bottom of the 40 ounce jars - they were squeaky clean looking when she was done.)

Today he also cocked his leg for the second time.  Unfortunately, he was in the house, by the furnace.  I'm so looking forward to the consistency that's coming.

Friday, July 29, 2016

His first long walk

Marley went for his first "hike" (actually a long stroll in the woods) yesterday.  Our friends Fran & John were here for a brief visit and we were headed to Kootenai Falls.  We took a little detour off the main route into Ross Creek Cedars Scenic Area. 

Tom & I had driven in to the area a couple weeks ago on a Sunday and it was crowded.  We had discussed going back on a weekday after Marley had his last puppy shot.  At that time he'd only had his first shot.

Yesterday he'd had his second shot, so he's still at some level of risk, but not as much as when he'd only had one.  So, when there were hardly any cars parked there we decided to take the 1 mile nature trail under the big Western Red Cedars.  Marley got to sniff all kinds of new things along the trail. 

There was another dog, so we moved aside to let the group (dog plus his people) go by without letting the dogs meet & sniff noses.  We let them know why we were being cautious.  They thought we were worried about friendliness, but I let them know it was the antibody lack, not that we were worried about his big dog eating our little dog.

By the time we got back to the car (I don't know if we did the whole mile or only half) Marley was so tired he laid down to drink his water.  He was pretty tired for rest of the day.  He even was too tired to really dive into his dinner.

Once we got home & had the mail opened up, we introduced Marley to his "Chilly Pad" - a gel pad that gets cold when there's pressure.  It will cool for 3-4 hours, then recover in about a half hour.  Once he figured out it was cooler than the floor under the dining table, he spent most of the rest of the evening on the pad. 

As far as we could tell, he slept through the night - we didn't find (we didn't look hard) any pee or poop in the house and about 6:30 he got up and had a loooooong pee outside.  I had a solo bathroom break in the middle of the night; probably only my second or third since Marley cane home with us.  It was almost 6:30 before we got up, and it was Charlotte who woke me by bumping into something on my nightstand.  Marley was ready to be up for the day, so I was up for the day.


Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Marley's improving, but it's still slow progress

Marley gets a little better each day about asking to go outside to go potty.  He still sometimes asks to go out by peeing in the house - usually if he needs to poop.  And we do find wet spots somewhere in the house some time almost every day.  But he's asking more and more often. 

I have to remind myself it's like having a toddler again.  If you're a parent you probably remember that period of time when your toddler knew they supposed to go to the bathroom & use the toilet, but more often than not would tell you after they'd peed or pooped.  Progress, but frustrating.

Charlotte's relationship with Marley continues to sound like war.  When he grabs her, she makes the most awful noises.  She sounds like she's in a lot of distress.  And yet, if he isn't paying attention to her she'll stir it up again.  She'll stop, look and calculate, then run past him at full speed or she'll arch up like a Halloween cat and bounce toward him until he chases her down again. 

She'll take refuge on top of a stack of boxes (yes, we still have them) or on top of the washer or the couch.  Then, when he's ready to move on to some other activity, she'll race down and get the mayhem started again.

They start early in the morning.  Often by 5 or 6 in the morning as the first pre-dawn light is starting to show in the windows. 

Once in a great while they'll touch noses peacefully.  Then the chase begins again.

Monday, July 25, 2016

Charlotte breaks IN

The other night, actually early morning, I let Charlotte "escape" as I took Marley out for a potty break.  Later, I was a bit confused as I heard her eating her dry food on top of the dresser in the bedroom.  (It's the only place I could think of, other than the kitchen table or counters, that she could get to and Marley can't.)

The next time I got up the mystery was solved.  I had only "thrown" the door closed as I came in and it hadn't latched.  (Depending on the humidity the door latches when "thrown" as you come through, or it sticks mostly closed, but not fully closed & latched.)  Not only was the door open a few inches, but an item stored between the wall and the dryer, next to that door, was on the porch floor.  She'd worked very hard to get that door open and get back inside.

Once Marley knows not to eat the mushrooms (or we're past mushroom season and mountain ash berry season) and he knows to always go potty outside, we'll unlock the doggy door and this won't be an issue any more.  Or at least not until Charlotte or Marley start inviting "friends" inside.

Saturday, July 23, 2016

He's growing up

This morning, on one of our many trips outside, Marley went into his half-squat.  It looks something like when a horse needs to pee and the back legs go back a bit extra and there's a bit of a drop to the rump.  He "assumed the position", then his left leg lifted a bit.  He's on his way to being a "big dog".

At the rate he's growing, and the size of his feet compared to the rest of him, I think the Labrador daddy size is going to overshadow the mommy springer spaniel size.  So, he'll be a big boy, big dog.

Friday, July 22, 2016

Ouch!

For the first time (and I hope the last time) Marley bit me intentionally.  There have been a lot of scratches and bits, but they were incidental to his activities.  This one was very deliberate.

We had been gone all day (him, too) and only home a short while.  He asked to go out (he's getting better about that later and later into the day), but then he fought getting the harness on.  We harness him even though we have a fenced yard because of all the lawn mushrooms.  We don't know if any of them are harmless and don't want to find out the hard way.  So, putting on the harness to go potty is just standard procedure here, until he grows out of eating everything he gets near.  The only exception is the dark-hours pee breaks, when we slip a loop of kitty collar on him, go a few feet of the porch, pee and come back in to go back to bed.

This time, though, since he'd been in the harness nearly all day, he didn't really want it on.  He slipped to his side, making it hard to get the harness on him.  The, to make it worse, he rolled to his back making it virtually impossible.  As I was trying to maneuver him back into position he reached around and sliced the back of my hand.  That is totally unacceptable.  I gave him 3 quick, light slaps to the muzzle.  He didn't make a sound.  He knew he'd done wrong.  Normally, I would not do that to a puppy, but like a mother dog, there are certain things I can't allow.  If he bit his mama, she'd either gently bite him or grab his neck and shake him to let him know he crossed the line.

He stopped fussing, we got the harness on and went out for him to do his business.  I gave him the usual praise "good boy!" for piddling and pooping outside.  Those are separate activities.  Only the bite was bad.  I think it will probably not happen again now that he's tried it and found out it's definitely not allowed.

We can't have a dog that bites when he's not happy.  No one should have a dog that deliberately bites humans when it's unhappy.  That's just the way a dog's life is.

Note: Less than an hour later he needed out again and there was no issue with getting the harness on him.  Lesson learned, I think.

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

His worst day . . . updated, again

Today, we hope, is the worst day of Marley's life.  He's in a crate, in a van, with a lot of other puppies, maybe some kittens, on the way to Corvallis MT for his neuter, second round of puppy shots and his microchip.  We dropped him off about 8:45 and he won't be back home until about 8 or 9 tonight.

We'll be waiting for the phone call that it's time to head toward Thompson Falls to meet the van and pick him up.  They'll call when they're at Plains, about 40 miles from the house, 25 from Thompson Falls.

Makes for a long day, knowing he's miserable, then he'll be knocked out, then sore, then miserable again when he wakes up.  Looking forward to a lot of TLC until he's himself again.  At least, after today he should become officially ours, ending the foster period and the shelter's responsibility for him.

In another couple of weeks we'll be able to take him in for his last puppy shot and begin to introduce him to other dogs, the dog park, places we've been avoiding for his safety.  And we'll be able to let him walk through the stores where he's welcome instead of putting him in a shopping cart.

We'll find plenty to do, but all day we'll be wondering how he's doing.  Poor little guy . . .

I'll update after he's home (probably not until tomorrow)


We got the call he was getting close to Thompson Falls earlier than we expected, so we had almost an hour's warning.  Good thing, since we'd just started eating dinner.  On the way to Thompson Falls we drove into a serious rain storm.  Even on high the wipers were having trouble keeping the windshield clear and we had to be careful to stay out of the flooded road ruts (yes, even in rural Montana the pavement gets ruts from the heavy truck traffic).  We did get there before the van, and waited outside the locked gate for them to arrive.  The van had to pull over and wait out a hail storm.  (When we went to the grocery store after picking him up we could see a lot of tree debris on the road; glad we missed that wind!)

Anyway, he was fully awake from the anesthesia, just moving a bit slow.  These days, after they snip the little boys, they give them a green "N" tattoo near the surgical site.  That way, nobody will try to do it again, and nobody has to take our word for it that he's been neutered.

Apparently Charlotte missed the excitement of playing chase.  Even though we're supposed to try to keep him from getting too excited or active, she really wanted to stir things up.  This morning they started playing tag about 6am.  Things are pretty much back to normal.  We just need to monitor his incision and try to keep him from licking at it too much.

We checked with the shelter and he is now officially ours .  Not that it will make any difference how we treat him, but it's good to know he's now family.  And he's microchipped and the chip registered to us and our contact info.  Yay!


We watched Marley & Me again the other night.  When the puppies and dogs were barking or crying he stopped what he was doing and watched until it went back to all people on the screen.  He's also seemed a bit worried when we're in Sandpoint and the seagulls are screaming from the light posts in the parking lots.  They do sound a bit like puppies in dire distress, don't they?


Monday, July 18, 2016

Marley's built-in Fetch, too!. And Charlotte wants under the deck.

Apparently, Marley came with "fetch" built in, too.  Last night while we were catching up on some TV, I tossed his newest treasure, a beef hoof, and he ran, got it, brought it back and dropped it at my feet.  I was sure it was a fluke.  So I tossed his stick across the room.  He brought that back and dropped it at my feet. He did it another half dozen times.  All we need to do is teach him a word for it.  And we'll be able to build on it.

I had expected to need to teach it, but, with the Labrador and Springer Spaniel mix, he's got the genetic programming to pick things up and bring them to people.  In some dogs it's there, but needs a lot of coaching.  In his case, he may think he taught us to throw the stick he brought us.

Meanwhile, Charlotte has developed a taste for the outdoors.  At least twice a day, she hangs by the back door, ready to scoot when we take Marley out to do his business.  Yesterday she went out around 5am.  Not unusual, since Marley & I needed potty breaks about then.  But she made a new way to get under the deck, digging a hole under the lattice, next to the place Tom had filled with sandstone chunks.  It's been difficult, but we've been trying to keep her in until he can fix that one, too.  It's difficult handling the flex lead (got to remember to push the button so he doesn't get too far ahead) and opening & closing the door, and keeping the cat from slipping out all at the same time.  Luckily, she usually is perched on the corner of the dryer, so she's at a convenient height and right at the door.  We need to either convince her to stay out from under the deck, or make sure she can get herself back out of there.  So far, we've had to move the big rock off the block of wood, and move the block of wood for her to get out.

Charlotte will really stir things up if she wants a round of tag.  Marley was quietly chewing his hoof.  Charlotte was stretched out on the floor a few feet away, but Marley wasn't aware of her.  She did a couple of slow blinks his direction - the equivalent of kitty kisses.  Then she reached out and messed with a piece of egg carton to get his attention.  And, the race was on!  She can still get to higher places to get a break when he plays too rough.  In the bathtub is a favorite escape that will probably be the first to be breached.  He can almost get in the tub or on the couch now, at 11 weeks.  Soon, there will be few safe places for her.

She got a but jealous when I was practicing his sit, down & shake commands with kibble pay-off.  So, I got some of her crunchies and put them on the little table next to the chair I was using.  And a few strokes and soft words improved her mood.

They have a unique relationship, but it's working for this household.

Sunday, July 17, 2016

How smart is he ...

Marley is really smart.  There are a couple of things that are taking time for him to learn - mainly not to pee or poop in the house - but we're working on them and he's getting better every day.

Yesterday morning, before the rest of the gang (Tom & our guests) got up, I taught Marley "shake".  One 10-minute session and he had it pretty well.  With a couple of quick refreshers here and there through the day, he'll now offer his right paw on request. 

When Tom was running him through his sit, down and shake this morning, Marley offered to shake when there was a pause in the action.

His vocabulary is getting pretty good for an 11-week old puppy (11 weeks today).  He knows (whether he always does it or not):
  • his name
  • sit (he needed a word for it; he came with sit built-in)
  • down
  • off
  • leave it
  • no mushrooms (we have lots of tiny mushrooms, many varieties, growing in the lawn any time it gets wet)
  • go potty
  • load up
  • go outside
  • cookie

Saturday, July 16, 2016

Marley Tracks her and Rescues Charlotte


This morning, Marley was a bit "off".  As I was working on "shake" with him in the dining room, he kept stopping and looking toward the sliding glass door in the living room.  A little later, partway through his breakfast, he started barking.  Thinking he needed to go outside, I got his harness & leash on him and we went out.  He wasn't looking for a patch of grass; he was looking for Charlotte.  She'd gone out at 5am, when we went out for a dark-hours (sort of dark, but not really) pee break.  We hadn't seen her on the porch at the 6:30am "up for the day" potty walk.  Normally she doesn't stray (yet) from the porch.  Well, he found her.  She'd managed to move a cast iron dish from the one low spot where it's possible to barely crawl under the lattice and get under the deck.  It's the same place she'd gone through before, with the same result.  Going in, it drops into a small depression; coming out it's uphill a few inches and changes how a body would fit, and she can't back out the way she came in.  I'm guessing she was calling, but quietly and Marley heard her even though I didn't.  I moved the piece of landscape timber and rock at the end of the steps so she could come out.  And she lost her collar again.  Marley was really happy to see her and have her back.

 
This morning we started on a new trick.  He knows sit, down, off, leave it.  Sit & down he know both by voice and hand signal.   Now we're working on stay and shake.  He got gist of shake pretty quickly.  We'll see how he does with in the Troy, Joy & Dakota come in for breakfast this morning.

Sunday, July 10, 2016

How She Did It

Yesterday, as it was getting warmer (after the rain stopped) I found out how Charlotte had "discovered" the secret to getting out the sliding glass door's screen.  I watched briefly as she tried to go between the glass and the screen.  It was clear that as she got to the end, the screen (which is old and in need of replacement) would simply pop out of the track from the pressure of her pushing through the existing gap between the glass and screen.  The normal gap is a couple of inches, but there's enough give in the screen itself that with mild pressure it increases to 3 or even 4 inches. 

That means we can't leave the sliding door more than an inch or so at night, or any time we're not able to keep an eye on her activities.  She has developed a taste for the outdoors.  We didn't rescue the first bird in time to save it, but the second one was able to fly away after a couple minutes recovery.  We've moved the sunflower seed feed out into the yard to give them a fighting chance of survival.  Right now it's on a branch in a small tree, but we have a 6 foot pole coming that should put the ones on the feeder out of her jumping range.

Friday, July 8, 2016

The Little Mercenary

Marley has learned "good boy" often means a tiny cookie (milk bone minis or treat bar minis from the pet store).  He's learned it so well that whenever he comes to us (with or without being called) or performs a requested task (off, sit, come, etc.) he plants his little butt and looks up expectantly.  He expects to be "paid" immediately every time he does something we've asked him to do at any point. 





I think sometimes he jumps up at the edge of the couch so he will be told "off" and be paid.  He only gets his reward sometimes.  We can't feed him cookies all day long, no matter how small.  And he needs to learn "good boy" is a reward. 

But, it is funny to see him plant his butt quickly onto the floor and look up so expectantly. 

What does he plant his butt for?  Come (yes, he comes AND sits), Off!, cookie, his dinner, any time he hears "good boy", to get his harness on/off.

He's also learned (pretty much) "want to go ouside?", "go potty", "leave it".  "No mushrooms" is harder than all the rest.

"No mushrooms"?  Yep - we have some kind of small mushrooms that pop up in the lawn.  We think we see one or two here & there, then Marley starts hunting them and there are ten times as many as we thought.  In the fall, we'll try to spread some ammonium sulfate to help discourage/kill the 'shrooms.  We just don't know if they're relatively safe or highly toxic or somewhere in between, so we can't take a chance.  I've pulled many of them out of his mouth.  They're small when they're fully ripe, then they shrivel and darken and get harder and harder for us to see.  Marley hunts them with his nose.  Too bad they're not truffles ... $$$

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Breakthroug

Yesterday Marley began figuring out that laps (at least for now, while he's small) are good places.  I've gotten down on the floor so he could crawl across my legs and be "with" me.  The first time didn't last long because of his puppy biting.  We've been working on it (mainly yipe and make hands or other bitables unavailable for a while) but it's been slow getting through to him.

Last night I stayed on the floor as long as I could take it (the butt & hip can only take so much).  He was much, much gentler with his mouth.  Yay!  I do have to remind myself he's just now the age that puppies are normally adopted.

The morning, I pulled him up on my lap on the couch and he settled in, almost took a nap, and was mostly gentle with his mouth.  Every time he was almost asleep something (small) would get his attention and we'd start over. 

It has been fun watching Charlotte come to grips with having Marley in the household and learning to play with him.  At this point, I think she initiates play more often than he does.  She'll run in the room, then race away.  She'll sneak up on him, touch him and run.  She'll go all "Halloween cat" and run away or even reach out and touch him, as if to say "you're it!"  Their favorite time to play tag is, of course, around 6am.

Charlotte has also learned to ask for special one-on-one time with me.  She'll meow and rub on my legs.  If I ask her if she wants to play she makes an affirmative sound and we go into the bedroom so she can play with her feather boa toy up on the bed, out of Marley's reach.  He's taken over so many of her toys, we keep this one special for her.  I'm going to have to buy more of them; they just don't last long.

Kudos for Marley, but where's Charlotte

About a quarter after 3 his morning I just had to get up for a restroom break. Of course, Marley was all about that.  As I got him leashed for the trip out in the (mostly) dark, Charlotte was right there.  She was insistent she was going out.  Even when Marley was standing straddling her, she would not give up her position at the door.  She scooted out when we  went out.  I left the door open, just in case.  But, when we returned to the porch she was almost as far from it as she could get and showed no inclination to come back in.

Around 6 I had to do it again, so of course it meant another trip outside for Marley.   He performed admirably.  Unfortunately, he was ready to be up for the day.  So, another early morning.  I'm starting to develop old-people habits - being up for the day at 5:30-6am means going to bed around 9pm whether I want to or not.

Charlotte's still out as I write this, about 4 hours later.

Update:  shortly after I posted this we found her under the deck.  Had to reopen a spot for her to get back out - the angles are different going in than out.  She's safely in the house again.

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

A better day

Last night Marley slept through until around 4.  We went out for a piddle and went back to bed until around 6:30.  I miss sleeping until 7 or 8, but I hope to work Marley up to that kind of wake up time over the long haul.  And, we didn't find any surprises anywhere.  Either he really made it ... or we'll find the surprises later.

Except for a couple times today we got him out in time to take care of his business.  The two times he started to go we got him out before he'd done much of anything.

That puts today in the plus column.

Also, started working on "off".  He just constantly jumps up, trying to be on the couch with us.  If he wanted a cuddle that might be OK, but he wants to bite hands and rough house and get his teeth on anything and everything he can reach.  So ... "off" training has started.

One of these days we'll start on calming him down a bit when he's offered wet food.  It's downright dangerous to give him wet food!

Monday, July 4, 2016

2 steps forward 1 step back

We were making progress.  I'm sure we still are, but it sometimes feels like we're going backwards.  This morning I found "presents".  And through the day I found a few more.  And Marley brought a couple of missed turds.  He peed & pooped on leash.  And he just stopped and peed where he was in the house ... I have to remind myself he's still just a little puppy, just old enough to leave his mama.

He does ask to go out sometimes, but it's just by going into the laundry room.  All too often we misinterpret or miss seeing it.  Other times he gives a small whine.  If he needs to poop and we don't respond immediately, he cries more and more.  Or, if we sleep through it, he just does what he needs to do.

I think he IS beginning to get the idea we don't want him to pee or poop in the house - he looks for a place less in the open, more in a corner or behind a piece of furniture.

I keep reminding myself this is a short period in his life.  In the meantime, it feels so very slow.

Then he goes to sleep and he's just so cute, and so obedient ... until he wakes up and it all starts again.


Sunday, July 3, 2016

Play with me!

Today Charlotte requested some one-on-one play time.  I'm so glad I got her the special feather-boa-on-a-string toy.  I keep it in a drawer in the bedroom.  Marley has never even known it exits.  It is hers and hers alone.  (He's appropriated every toy he came across and made it his.) 

I was in the kitchen doing a few things and she kept rubbing on me and meowing.  I gave her a few crunchies.  That didn't really satisfy her.  When I asked her if she wanted to play and headed for the bedroom she was on my heels.  We play with the feather boa on the bed.  Marley can't even dream of getting up there yet (the mattress-top is waist high for me), so it's the one place we can play without him getting her toy.  And we try to do it when Marley is napping so he won't even try to join in.

About 10-15 minutes and she was happy.  She chased the feathers.  She captured the feathers.  She rubbed the feathers on her face.  She purred like a motorboat.  The bed looked like a stripper had had an outstanding performance - hot pink feathers all over. 

I managed to trim most of her nails in between hunting the pink feathers.  I had left them long for the initial period with Marley in case she needed to seriously defend herself.  Now we need to trim his.

Right now, both of them are sleeping in the dining room.  Marley on the cool floor, Charlotte on the topmost section of her kitty tree.

Saturday, July 2, 2016

Escape is becoming a habit?

Well, Charlotte got out again.  Early this morning (but not as early as some mornings) as I was coming back in from Marley's first of the day (not middle of the night but near dawn) outing, Charlotte suddenly appeared on the porch!  Where the bleep did she come from?  How did she get out? How long was she out?

Well, it didn't take but a few seconds to answer the second question - she'd pushed out the bottom corner of the sliding screen patio door.  She even decided to show off a bit.  After running onto (or just around) the porch and coming right to the door to come in with us, she ran right back out onto the porch and back to the door to come in again.  Just to prove she can.

She is determined to be an indoor/outdoor cat at some point.  And, since she's learned she can push out screens ... I have no doubt she'll have an easy time of learning the doggy door once we pull the solid panel.  But, that's in the future, after Marley reliably asks to go out to relieve himself and we're sure he can't escape and that he won't eat the wrong plants.  So, it's quite a ways in the future.  If it was just her, maybe it would be time for her to learn it, but it's way too early for Marley.

In the meantime, Tom is going to put some screws in the screens so Charlotte can't push them out yet we can open the windows to cool the place.

Friday, July 1, 2016

They play tag

Sometimes it's at a time of day we don't appreciate, but the two young critters have been playing tag.  Often Charlotte initiates a session by running right up to him, skidding to a stop or turning and running away, or even going "Halloween cat".  Sometimes she gets on top of something and "flaps" a bag or box flap to taunt him. 

This morning I was taking care of an essential task and Marley was sitting nearby waiting for me to take him outside when Charlotte raced into the room, jumped up on the tub edge, skidding to a stop as she turned before hitting the wall.  When she was sure she'd gotten Marley's attention she raced out to the living room and on out to the kitchen, with him on her heels.

Other times, he'll stalk her and touch her to start a play session.  Even if she slaps at him she keeps her claws in and he is unfazed by the "attack".  With the size of the house they can get a pretty good amount of exercise just running back & forth.

Charlotte is beginning to return to her former habits.  She's come onto our laps a few times, she's napping on the foot of the bed (on Tom's side).  That tells me she's accepting that Marley is here to stay and she'll develop a new normal.